Wow. Here it has been about three weeks since I arrived in Kenya. I’ve thought many times to write and there are so many things to write about. I’m amazed, and yet not, at the influx of stimulus and information I’m receiving and how much energy it takes just to receive it. (ie I haven’t been ready to write yet)
Last time I wrote I had just entered the country and shared about my experiences as I packed and began traveling to Kenya.
One part of the journey I’ll not forget was my flight from Chicago to London. I have flown many times internationally now and am always so thankful how the airline tries to stick close to land as much as possible when going over the ocean. I remember first flying overseas I was very nervous to fly over the Atlantic and to be so far way from land if anything were to happen. I found myself watching the channel the airline offered where you could see a map of the world and the progress of the flight, including a tiny plane indicating where you were over the Atlantic. Boy was I relieved when we got to Europe!

Since my anxiety in my younger years, I’ve come to not mind flying so much and I do better, though I’m still pretty aware during the flight (if I’m not sleeping) and breathe a prayer of thankfulness when we land.

Well, this time on my flight over to London, I felt like a helpless and nervous child all over again. Flying I’ve gotten used to, but turbulence I STILL do not do well with. I had enjoyed dinner, resting, and a movie for the first part of the flight, and was thankful to be on our way thus far. Then the turbulence hit. I tried to act cool at first but found myself gripping the seat after a while. I can usually talk myself out of fear, telling myself it will be over soon. But it wasn’t. Pretty soon, I was that young teenage girl again, flipping to the screen that showed the map of our whereabouts. Oh great-smack over a big patch of ocean and no land remotely nearby. Mind you, I’ve sat next to a pilot before on a flight and he explain the science of turbulence/changing air pressure. In those moments his words did not comfort me from my fear of plummeting or the pilot somehow losing control.

So the turbulence went on….and on…with a few big jolts thrown in “for fun.” Boy was I praying….and praying. I’ve entitled this post “The Sovereignty of God” because perhaps never in my life have I had such a lesson in regards to this. I was scared. And in those moments I could do nothing to change my situation or make it safer. I was praying…and praying. The turbulence con’t and my prayers for it to stop were not answered…well, whatever I was praying, I really just wanted it to stop and it didn’t.

That half hour I felt more helpless than perhaps I’ve ever felt. And when my prayers didn’t seem to alter God’s weather pattern over the Atlantic, a sinking feeling came over me just how small I am. Yes God loves me, but at the end of the day the world runs for his glory and I’m only a blip in the big picture. He can do whatever he likes with me, keep the plane up or not, and my life is in his hands. Ha. Most of the time we think “My life is in his hands” and breathe a sigh of relief. This was NOT my response that night.

Last night a group of us women went out and had a lovely dinner and then watched the movie “Amelia” which is about the famous female pilot and way-maker, Amelia Earhart. Most of you know the story. She was the first to fly solo over the Atlantic and in the end she perished in a later attempt to circle the globe.

Seeing that movie reminded me of my flight over and wanting to share with you all my experience. In the end I made it safely to London. The turbulence passed, though it had been a huge system throughout the Atlantic. I carried on, Amelia’s fate was different.
Ha. Now I don’t write this to pretend they were similar situations or stories, but to give a personal story that shook me up, and a historical example, both of which point to the fact that in everyday of our lives, whether in a scary situation or not, our lives are TOTALLY resting and dependent on the will of God and the days he has for our lives.

Think of countless life stories, Biblical, historical, examples from people you know…we know many examples where we look at that person’s life and see a situation or end and we say “What? God do you care?! What were you thinking?” God does not promise a rosy life, or a safe life, or a good end. We see many situations in others lives and our own and we are left holding a big question mark. Where’s the love…

As I sat there gripping my seat, looking at the map, and praying over and over, my prayers finally dissipated into exhaustion and sleep, and a sort of holy terror that God would do with me what he would. I wish I could say it was a holy peace of surrender. It really wasn’t. Maybe a little, but more so a helpless realization that I serve a God who, yes, loves me, but has purposes and plans for the world way bigger than I can grasp or change. How many people have died in crashes (sigh…an appropriate day for this post)..and how many where something has happened and we cannot plead with God enough to change the end results.

I love the Lord. And I trust His character and His purposes. But it’s not until survival mode kicks in, where the rubber meets the road, and I’m praying to God for safety and life that I truly live in the reality that HE calls all the shots and I’m at his mercy for my life.

Perhaps you all have thoughts in response to mine.(Like, “Jessica, don’t worry so much about turbulence! ) My trust in God has not changed. I just share with you a very real experience for me that really shaped how I see my life in the grand scheme of God’s order and plans.

Today a group of us staff and students got to help others when 30-35 of us went up to Navasha to help build cob living facilities (mud, sand, and straw….we got really messy and it was a blast!) The lady facilitated it is also allergic to bees. She shared her story of living in Africa 30 yrs so far and I asked “So what about the bees?”

After our conversation, I have to conclude what I had before…our lives are in God’s hands and we can do nothing in the end to take the steering wheel away from Him… ultimately we must trust Him with the days and plan He has for our lives, and pray and seek God as to what he has for us… and obey.

I’ll write more about my experiences so far. This is a lot of words about my flight over, but I wanted to share. Ha-I certainly don’t write this to make any of you, my loved ones, feel I’m unsafe. If anything this account is just a testimony to remind us to together sink into resting in God, trusting Him, REALLY trusting him, with our lives.
I pray God gives us all grace to truly sink into who He is and what our lives are before Him and in light of His glory. I thank Him for His love and that His character is good. Oh, yes, may we trust Him with our lives. ~Jessica

Hello All,

I’m in Kenya! After a few days of being here I’m surprised how long it’s taking to just get settled in…though when I consider the amount of information I’ve been seeing, asking about, and absorbing, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve just planned to write sooner, as there’s so much to tell. This will have to be part 1 of filling in the first part of my journey. More to come…

I thank God for His grace last week over my family and I as I packed and got ready to head out. My grandparents drove up from PA and it was such a blessing to have them around, though my brain was going a million miles (or should I say kilometers) an hour it different directions, so it seemed…they were such a joy. I treasure their presence.

We went several times to the airport to weigh my luggage. The first time I was over my weight limit on almost all my bags. Let me tell, I did not enjoy figuring out what to leave behind-not at all! Thankfully the second and third times around there was room to spare and I was able to choose a few items to add I was then reminded of the Bible verse, “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life, for My sake, will find it.”

Yes, it’s packing, and I know the Lord wasn’t specifically referencing packing when He spoke those words…but in those moments of letting go of all that I was hanging on to-”What do I pack for a year?!!”….then later getting back some of what I had given up…I don’t know…the Lord comforted me and gave me peace with that verse…I have no deep summary statement for you from that time…just my testimony of comfort from His Word in a stretching moment.

Ha…more to come about my next stretching moment. I didn’t feel so comforted…but God is faithful.
Walking With You in His Grace,
Jessica

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
for he has appointed me to preach Good News to the poor.
He sent me to proclaim that captives will be released,
that the blind will see, that the downtrodden will be freed from their oppressors,
and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.”
-Jesus speaking, quoting Isaiah 61:1-2 (Luke 4:18)

Today mark’s exactly one month until I leave for Africa. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness along my journey. I’m in Pearl River right now, outside of NYC, wrapping up a beautiful few days here at AIM headquarters. Thank you to all of you who are thinking and praying for me as I’ve been here at orientation. The Lord’s presence is here and working in a special way this week, and it’s been such a blessing to see how the office functions and takes care of legistics, and how they cover those of us who go in prayer. We prayed for you all today as well, thanking God for you and praising Him for how He is uniting His global church for His purposes.

I’ve learned a lot of legistics..gotten lots of questions answered. The Lord is making a way. I’ve gotten to meet new friends whose faces I’ll be happy to see again in Kenya. I even made it to the Palisades Mall during a free evening, said to be the second largest in the country. I only comment about this because I soon realized I had been to this mall before several years ago, taken there by teammates before departing to do summer ministry in Italy. -Funny how God connects the pieces of our lives.
Peace. Deep Peace resting in His Presence. I thank Him. And I trust Him for what’s to come.

a robin, actually. (I think). Yesterday I was traveling home from a wonderful week in Rochester. (To all of you I saw…it was such a blessing to see you!) Usually I’m quite efficient in short pit stops as I road trip, but yesterday was not my day for that. In fact, it was quite the opposite. My story begins at a Wendy’s in West Virginia. As I was about to walk inside to grab some lunch I heard chirping in a bush nearby. Me being the curious one I dropped back to have a look. I thought maybe there was a nest…close, a baby bird. Actually, he was growing up, already having some adult feathers. There he sat in the red rocks landscaped by Wendys, chirping away, crying “Feed me!”
Well I couldn’t just leave him there! (“Yes, you could.” some of you are saying ) Needless to say, this little robin got a shoebox in my front seat and food and water feedings along the journey. What a precious little guy. However, by the end of the evening, despite my efforts and love, my little friend was not doing well, and perished in Charlotte, many miles later, having never learned to fly. I cried.
Yep, I did.
So yesterday was Father’s Day. I had the privelege of seeing one of my grandpa’s in the morning, chatting with the other, and spending the evening with my father and sister at “Symphony in the Park” at the end of a long journey. I’m thankful yesterday was also a day to love my Heavenly Father and enjoy His beautiful creation as I drove. I admit, worshipping the Lord comes freely for me as I drive-I love the East Coast and driving through the mountains and countryside in the summer.
So my little friend. I didn’t help him live. But I gave him some love. And he brought Scripture to life for me.
Matthew 6:26-27 “Look at the birds of the air; they do no sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
I suppose this applies to robins to. As my sister helped me look up about feeding him, she read that the majority of baby birds never make it to adulthood. Wow. It amazes me that God puts such crafting and beauty into something that won’t last long. I suppose that’s true of insects, fish…many, many creatures. They don’t last long, but they worship him by just “being.” And none perishes apart from God’s will. Wow. He really is a caring Creator.
As my journey towards Kenya continues, I’m in awe of the care of my Heavenly Father. Through this little robin, and from day by day walking forward, I’m learning in a very real way His care and provision. And that untimately all things are in His hands.
So this is my first blog entry. Ha. We’ll see how this goes. As we journey together, I thank you for your love and prayers-I treasure them. And I look forward to continually seeing our Heavenly Father’s caring hands at work.
Happy Summer Solstice! The day I look forward to all year! Praise God for His goodness-for the longest day of the year, for robins, for loved ones and friends like you who warm my heart.
Happy Summer~Jessica

Welcome to my blog
I’m just getting settled in and look forward to sharing with you.

Traveling with you to Kenya,

Jessica